More Human Than Human

The 25th anniversary of Blade Runner has stirred up some thoughts on a subject that is becoming more and more relevant with each passing year, or perhaps more accurately with each new leap in technology. From the time Mary Shelley penned Frankenstein, science fiction has examined not only what makes us human (which is arguably what most fiction is about), but what makes our creations "human." When does a created being--a "monster", clone, robot, android, holographic projection, artificial intelligence--cross over and become, if not "human", then a person worthy of being granted the ever-elusive prize of "human" rights? Considering that many people on this planet have not yet achieved this status, it is no surprise that some people would have difficulty granting rights to something created by humans. Even some science fiction-minded individuals who have no difficulty recognizing aliens as "people" -- even those aliens so dramatically different from human as to be almost unrecognizable as "human", like a silicon-based lifeform, for instance-- find granting the same status to a created being problematic. The argument runs, as I understand it, that if something is created and programmed and what-have-you, it is a thing and not a person, no matter how much it may think, act, or look like a human. As my favorite galactic gumshoe puts it (referring to a damaged android who has been crying), "She's programmed to say she hurts!"

I find this question of sentience puzzling, for I am certainly not suggesting we grant "personhood" to pocket calculators and cell phones. Up to a point, the above argument is correct, at least concerning technology as we know it today. If you have ever had a conversation with an AI (they have them at various places online and some art exhibits), you'll know what I mean. I have had some frustrating encounters with such creatures and find them to be very stupid machines. But I digress.

What science fiction makes possible is the taking of an idea or a technology or both and projecting them out to a possible conclusion. As in the case of Blade Runner, what would happen if we were so successful in creating an artificial human, an android, that it took on a life of its own, developing memories, experiences, a range of emotions, and most especially, a desire to live? Other characters in movies and television who explore this idea are Data (Star Trek: Next Generation), the Doctor (Star Trek: Voyager), Terminator (Terminator 2), and David (A.I.). I'm sure there are more. And in books, of course, the list is endless; however, the master of them all would be Isaac Asimov. I recommend the novella "Bicentennial Man" and "Kid Brother," one of Asimov's short stories, among many others.

What fascinates me is the moment of transition: When does an android go from a collection of programmed knee-jerk reactions to a person? How does it happen? And why? Is this what we call a "soul"? Is this how new sentience evolves? It's about more than just intelligence; intelligence cannot be the only factor. My list for defining sentience is as follows (subject to revision):

self-awareness

creative expression

emotions/empathy

ability to dream and to wish

ability to learn

desire to live

I have not decided if one must possess all, or some, or at least two from the above list to be considered sentient. Something to think about.

Wikipedia has an interesting article on Sentience, if you're interested. In short, it says, "Some science fiction uses the term sentience to describe a species with human-like intelligence, but a more appropriate term for intelligent beings would be 'sapience'." The article also includes "free will" and "ability to experience suffering" in addition to some of those items I listed above.

More important, perhaps, than the "when" and "how" and "why" sentience/sapience develops is our own internalization of that process. Our attitude towards the Other determines our own humanity: When we deny sentience/sapience to an obviously sentient/sapient being, it is we who are diminished, not the opposite.

Deckard is astonished when Roy Batty saves his life. Had the situation been reversed, Deckard would have had to follow through with his orders to "retire" the android. In the end, it is the android that teaches the man a lesson in what it means to be human. For with his own death closing on him rapidly, Batty treasures each moment, each memory, and life itself.


"I have seen things you people wouldn't believe:
Attack ships on fire off the shores of Orion;
I've watched c-beams glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate.
All these moments . . . lost . . . in Time . . .
like tears in the rain."








22 Days til Lift-Off

White Girl Can('t) Dance

Second gig at the Solis Winery. Much, much better performance-wise-- very tight. Yesterday was good, but today just felt cleaner. We had our cues down. As Aretha sings in "Niki Hoeky" (one of our songs): "Everything is copacetic now." ;-)

I don't know about my dance aesthetic though. Physically, I still feel a little awkward, a little too stiff. I loosen up more as we go along, but I'm really more Janis Joplin than Janet Jackson. But perhaps that's appropriate. I've got that whole hippie-chick thing dooowwwnnn, Man. And much as I have tried to resist the whole singer-with-the-tambourine stereotype, I find that I'm a lot more confident when I have something to do with my hands. I'm learning to use the tambourine and maracas and this little egg thing with beads or sand or something in it jokingly referred to as the "E-flat Egg"--that one is my favorite. Hey, when you've got something to shake, the world shakes with you.

We had a bigger crowd today, too. It is exciting and gratifying to see people engaged with the performance, looking up, clapping, singing along, even getting up and dancing. Yesterday, the people were just as appreciative (one guy even told me I sounded just like Linda Ronstadt on "Oooh, Baby, Baby") but there is something about a larger crowd bringing a larger energy. Well, IF they are engaged and paying attention. I have sung to crowds who were more interested in their dinner... Anyway, that was not the case, either yesterday or today. Both performances were very positive experiences. I'm looking forward to going back there again.

Rock on! ;-)



23 Days til Lift-Off

I'm With the Band!

One of the *best* feelings in the world comes with walking into an establishment and saying those four magical little words.

The Solis Winery is actually kind of a neat little spot. Good wine with a casual atmosphere. They set up some picnic tables outside and people can bring lunch, drink wine, and just hang out with a beautiful view of the vineyards. And, of course, listen to some excellent entertainment! ;-)

It was a nice day--not too hot with a slight breeze--and we had some shade from the trees. As I was singing, I watched the patrons enjoying their wine and the good company of their friends. And you know, there's something very inviting about that. I'd kind of like to do that sometime. But all things considered, I'd really rather be right where I am: with the band. That's right where I belong.

Oh, and if you ever get to the Solis Winery, try the Muscat. It's fabulous!



24 Days til Lift-Off

Don't Get Cocky!

"Confidence is ignorance," advised the centaur. "If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know."

25 Days til Lift-Off

I love it when a plan comes together!

So this is it. My final installment payment is made. My plane ticket bought. Hotel/shuttle reservations: Done.

Wow. I'm really going. Really, really.

Unfortunately, my friend Maria will be busy with the grand [re-]opening of her deli, so we will not be able to meet up as planned. [But if you are EVER in Leonardstown, MD, stop by the Do-Dah Deli for the absolute *best* sandwiches in the world. Trust me.]

However, I've managed to hook up with one of my fellow students-- Leslie, a librarian from Albuquerque -- so I'll have someone to pal around with in Baltimore after all.

Today is the first day of Summer. It's going to be beautiful, eh?

26 Days til Lift-Off

What have they done to my Underdog?

I'm sorry, but a "live action" Underdog just does not NOT work for me.

Another childhood memory peddled to the lowest common denominator.

[Sigh!]

I will simply have to boycott this movie.

27 Days til Lift-Off

SiliCon 2007

This is a ways off yet, but I've been attending their board meetings (they've recruited me to help with fundraising and grants and such) and plans are really coming together for a great con. Check out their website here.

Hope to see you there!

28 Days til Lift-Off

Kittens vs. Cougars?

Cast: Age of Love: Kittens vs. Cougars on NBC

For the record, I have to say this: I hate "Reality TV." It has nothing whatsoever to do with reality, and it shouldn't have anything to do with TV. I'll stop there, because I don't want to turn this into a rant.

I heard the ad for this on the radio this morning and it just about stopped me in my tracks. I had to laugh. I mean, "Kittens vs. Cougars"? Come on, what will they think of next? I ran a search on the internet to get a closer look. The concept is ridiculous, of course, like all "reality TV", but what is interesting is the amount of controversy it's stirring up. Click here and scroll down to Comments for one woman's rant on the subject. She takes a typical feminist stance and makes some pretty good points. She is not alone.

The premise is this: Attractive 30-something tennis star gets his pick from a select group of 20-something "kittens" and 40-something "cougars." Somehow, someway, true love is supposed to figure in all this, but I think it has more to do with boob jobs and teeth whiteners. I don't know, but take a look at that cast picture. Can you tell the difference between the Kittens and the Cougars? I can't. They all look the same to me. One of my pet peeves about media culture: women come in only one size: 5'5" and 105 lbs. If this is supposed to be reality, then let's see some real women up there. Oh, wait, that's right, this is "reality" not reality.

The other thing I object to is the objectifying (no pun intended) of the opposite sex. The woman mentioned above complains about the stereotyping and objectifying of women in this case, but I think the man is being objectified as well. Here he is, Mr. Tall-Dark-Handsome-Tennis Star. Is that all that's required to engage the interest of these women? By making him the prize in this race, it diminishes his humanity. Under this kind of intense media microscope, is there really any opportunity for a real soul connection? And could any of these women, after subjecting themselves to this intensely competitive media circus, could any of them turn to the camera and say, "You know, after a couple of dates, I'm really not feeling a connection with him. I'm going to withdraw from the race." Likewise, could he make such a choice? What if he finds no true connection with any of them? But the dictates of "Reality TV" demand that there be a winner. So he'll have to choose someone. And to prove what? That age/experience wins out over youth, or vice versa? The artificiality of it all just disgusts me.

I'm not sure if I entirely object to the metaphor of "kittens" and "cougars" though. Fancy bit of marketing, that. Being (ahem!) "a woman of a certain age," the concept of being a "cougar" is not entirely unattractive. I'll have to think about it. I'm going to go clean my claws and get back to you.

P.S. We know from studies in quantum physics that the act of observing changes the outcome of the experiment. Therefore, whoever Mr. Tennis Star chooses is irrelevant. If left unobserved, he would end up with an entirely different partner. Whoa. Sometimes I amaze even myself....

29 Days til Lift-Off

Laughter, With Occasional Music

Q: What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?


A: Homeless.




A smalltime band finally gets a bigtime break. As they are onstage playing to a thousand screaming fans, they realize they are on their way to fame and fortune. The guitarist is thinking about how he can't wait to buy that car he's always wanted. The drummer is thinking about buying a house. The bassist is thinking: A-A-A-A-G-G-G-D-D-D....




And the best one:


Q: How do you know when a singer is at the door?


A: She doesn't know when to come in and she can't find the key.






30 Days til Lift-Off

Electra Woman Lives!

Electra Woman & Dyna Girl 2001! Who knew?

Best line:

"Look, honey, as hard as it may be to fathom, the world just doesn't want me anymore. I was never superhuman or superpowered. I was never as interesting as Superman. Come on, face it, technically the guy's an alien, right? Batman: He's got that whole Gothic thing. Wonder Woman: Better tits. Fake, but fabulous."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcJxHwqO29w&mode=related&search=



31 Days til Lift-Off

Lost Germans

Earlier this week, I wandered into the office of my apartment complex in search of a laundry room key and found a German woman struggling to make herself understood by the manager. The manager kept telling her that she was at an apartment complex, but the woman couldn't understand. So I said, "I speak a little German!" The German woman was so relieved. I was able to tell her that it was not a "jugendherberge" -- a youth hostel -- nor was it a motel. But before I could remember the word for "apartments," she said "Danke" and left. I was a little disappointed. I was just getting started!

Then again, it was probably good she didn't ask for directions. She might have ended up on Mars or something.



32 Days til Lift-Off

Pile o' Books

Happiness is a big pile of books and not knowing where to begin.

I, Freddy by Dietlof Reiche
Crow Girl by Bodil Bredsdorf
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
Traitor by Gudrun Pausewang
Blue Planet by Andri Magnason
Ghostship by Dietlof Reiche
The Sword Bearer by Ragnheidur Gestsdottir
4 1/2 Friends by Joachim Freiderich
Home and Other Big Fat Lies by Jill Wolfson
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
W.I.T.C.H. by Lene Kaaberbol
Bone by Jeff Smith

Just the bestest best booklist in the world!



33 Days til Lift-Off

Walk This Way

If exercise is so good for you, why do I always feel like I've been hit by a truck?


And I'm getting blisters! How can I be getting blisters? I'm not even trying that hard.


Monday
5 miles
2 deer


Tuesday
4 miles
2 deer & 2 fawns (cute!)
1 bunny


Wednesday
3 miles
3 deer
2 baby bunnies (cute! cute!)


And, as always, a host of ubiquitous mosquitoes. (Dragonflies and bats are my friends in the wilderness).






34 Days til Lift-Off

Cinema Etiquette 101

My son and I went to the movies last night--Ocean's 13. I haven't seen the first two, but that didn't seem to matter. I got up to speed fairly quickly and enjoyed the flick.

But that wasn't the problem. The problem was the rude teenage girls at the end of our row. One in particular kept talking on her cell phone and then running to the emergency exit. "Are you there yet? Is that you knocking?" She must have done this three times, letting in at least a half dozen or more conspirators.

The third time I leaned over and gave her a meaningful look. I think she got the hint, because she shut down her phone after that. But I was this close--*this close* I tell you--to going over there and giving her a piece of my mind. I'm not afraid of some twiggy little 15-year-old... with a dozen or so friends to back her up... I would have told her that if I heard another peep out of her or her friends or her damn phone I would tell the manager. I would have told her! Yeah.

Kids these days. [grumble]

You know, it's enough to make me want to stick to going out to Rated-R movies only, in order to avoid the adolescents. Unfortunately, they get in to see those movies, too. And then there are those *idiots* who bring their screaming babies.... Oh, and then there was some guy who was snoring--I mean *really* snoring-- about halfway through the flick. I am beginning to understand why most people just stay home and wait for the DVD.

Ocean's 13 was like ginger ale--sparkly, sharp, burns on its way down, with a nice gingery finish. Enough said.

35 Days to Lift-Off

Eeep--My Ignorance is Showing Again

Isn't this a great picture? I love this picture. It was published in Vanity Fair a few years ago, around the time of the release of the final movie, I think. The only thing I would change is that I would have Ewan McGregor holding a photo of Sir Alec Guiness. He's the only one missing.

Anyway, I remember when the magazine came out, I was gazing at this picture in wonder and I said, "Isn't it incredible? I wonder what it took to get all these cast members to come in on the same day to take this shot." My friend Brett just shook his head. "Tanja, it's a picture. They didn't *have* to be there all on the same day."

Ooohhhh.

[Sigh!]

I'm so disillusioned.

36 Days to Lift-Off

Look Up More

Note to Self: When entering an unfamiliar chamber, remember to inspect the ceiling; there may be a giant spider about to drop on you.

37 Days to Lift-Off

When you sing you begin with Do-Ray-Mi

Another great band practice today. I am so happy to be singing again! And the others are saying how nice it is to have another vocalist and what a good job I'm doing. And all I can think is, "I know nothing! I need to take a class!" That is my answer to everything: Take a class. But here I am. I'm doing it. So why do I think I need to take a class? It's just that whenever I throw myself into the mix like this, I become conscious of what I do not know. I can sing, but I don't play an instrument, and I can barely read music. I think I can find middle C if I try really hard. Give me a starting note and I can fake my way through. My ear for harmony is pretty good, but I need to really work at it. I am never at ease in a state of ignorance and always long to learn more. I would like to be able to read music confidently, and know harmony well enough that once I make something up I can take notes on the spot and be able to repeat it when we do it again. When am I ever going to learn this?

In the meantime, I have the pleasure of working with some really experienced and talented musicians. I am already learning so much from them.

I'm not worthy! ;-)



38 Days to Lift-Off

Funny Guy

You know that feeling when you're leaning back in a chair, and then you lean back too far and start to fall and just at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
~Steven Wright


39 Days to Lift-Off

Magical Mystery Tour

So I've been hinting at this big trip I've been planning for awhile now. It all started last October when I saw an announcement about a class in International Children's Literature offered through Salisbury University in Maryland. And I thought, "Maryland. Hmm. I know someone in Maryland." And then I saw that it was more than just a class, it was a trip! And not just any trip, but a trip to museums and culture houses and libraries and on and on. So after some wishing and hoping and dreaming, and some student loans and some careful planning... Well, it looks like it's really going to happen. Forty days counting down to lift off.

The following is the short list. What you don't see is all the places I will actually be visiting. I believe I will occasionally have access to internet cafes and such, so I will post/send email about details as regularly as I can. I will be meeting the authors and illustrators of the books we will be reading for the course. This will be interesting because it will be a "working" vacation. I'm going to be seeing some incredible sights, but I'll have to do homework, too! But I don't really mind. School has always felt like a vacation to me anyhow.

The pace looks exhausting. I hope I can keep up! I'm just remembering how tired and jet-lagged I felt for the first three or four days when I went to Germany in 2004.


July 17-19 -- Fly to BWI; Hang out with Maria in Baltimore and Salisbury!
July 20 -- Course commences at Salisbury University
July 21 -- Bus from Salisbury University to BWI. Fly to Iceland.
July 22 -- 24 Iceland
July 25-26 Copenhagen. (July 26-- Happy 40th Birthday to Me!)
July 27 Leave Copenhagen around 8:30 reach Hamburg (5 hour drive/ferry)
July 28 Leave Hamburg by 9 AM. for Bremen (2 hour drive)
Proceed to Cologne (3 hours drive) for overnight.
July 29 Cologne.
July 30 Leave for Kassel by 9AM
Proceed to Schlitz
Spend night in Fulda
July 31 Leave for Frankfurt by 9 AM (2 hours)
Proceed to Heidelburg (2 hours)
August 1 Leave Heidelberg by 8:30 AM
Early lunch in Stuttgart
Proceed to Ellwangen
August 3 Leave early in the morning for Munich
Visit Dachau
August 4 leave by 8:30 AM for Salzburg, Austria (2 hours)
Leave Salzburg by 4 PM. Spend night in Munich
August 5 – 7 Leave Leipzieg arrive in Berlin
August 8–10 Warsaw
August 11-- 13 Flight to Malmo/Copenhagen
August 14 return to BWI
August 15 Fly home!

I am so excited! I really have to make myself *not* think about it, because otherwise, I'd never get anything done.

40 Days to Lift-Off

White Buffalo Woman Kicks Ass

"The formless Absolute is my Father, and God with form is my Mother." God reveals Himself in the form which His devotee loves most. His love for the devotee knows no bounds.

~Ramakrishna
From "Teachings of the Hindu Mystics," © 2001 by Andrew Harvey.


"Time is the root and the seed, it gives and it takes away. I bow to God, who lives in this world within us; whoever calls Him by any name, by that name does He come.

"Therefore, take care with the names of God," said Vaisampayana, "and I have finished my story."

~Mahabharata
Retold by William Buck


One of my most favorite books is William Buck's retelling of the Mahabharata. The language is exquisite. I am fascinated by this idea of God appearing to us in a form we can understand, or perhaps in the only form we can handle. There is a comforting symbiosis in this, a kind of interactive godhood. Whether "god" is the word we use for that which lies outside our current understanding, or as a metaphor for the mysteries in our own souls, or a real Person, we may never know. And that's okay.

The following is the best ever rant on the subject. I would really like to memorize this for those times when someone asks me what I believe. I may not truly believe all of it, but it makes a good story. ;-)



"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen--I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate our cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."

~from Neil Gaiman's American Gods

Imagine this place

Shut Your Eyes
~Snow Patrol

Shut your eyes and think of somewhere
Somewhere cold and caked in snow
By the fire we break the quiet
Learn to wear each other well

And when the worrying starts to hurt
and the world feels like graves of dirt
Just close your eyes until
you can imagine this place, Yeah, our secret space at will

Shut your eyes, I spin the big chair
And you'll feel dizzy, light, and free
And falling gently on the cushion
You can come and sing to me

And when the worrying starts to hurt
and the world feels like graves of dirt
Just close your eyes until
you can imagine this place, Yeah, our secret space at will

(Shut your eyes [x4])

Shut your eyes and sing to me (Shut your eyes and sing to me) [x4]

Dragonflight!

Dragonflight by Michael Whelan

Oh, Tongue, give sound to joy and sing

Of hope and promise on dragonwing!

~Anne McCaffrey

I was dreaming that I was a dragonrider on Pern, flying over the Istan desert. This is odd because I don't believe any of the books were set in Ista (unless there was a short story I'm only barely remembering).

I haven't read any of these books in years. I have always said that of all the books I have read, many of them may have been better written, but the only place I have ever truly wanted to visit, and maybe even stay forever, is Pern.

I was riding a dragon!!! So. Very. Cool.

P.S. There have been a number of different artists assigned to do the cover art for McCaffrey's books over the years, but I still think Michael Whelan's is the best.

All the Magic I Have Known

Magic

Sandra's seen a leprechaun,
Eddie touched a troll,
Laurie danced with witches once,
Charlie found some goblins' gold.
Donald heard a mermaid sing,
Susie spied an elf,
But all the magic I have known
I've had to make myself.

~Shel Silverstein


Today I stood on my back patio and blew bubbles. (My neighbors upstairs blow smoke; I blow bubbles, which I think is infinitely better). I bought a couple of big bottles from the store yesterday. One is blueberry flavored (blueberry smelling?) and the other is pineapple. I used the blueberry one today. It smells very nice. There is something magical about bubbles. They are so beautiful, so ephemeral-- sadly, so short lived. I came to the conclusion that one simply cannot be depressed while blowing bubbles. It's magic, pure and simple.

I had my first band practice today. That was magical, too. ;-)

But what I really need is...

The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was standing in the Safeway checkout line, paying for my groceries, when the clerk tells me, with surprise in her voice, "You've just won an iPod Shuffle!" Truth to tell, she was more excited about it than I was. As for me, I was skeptical. I was thinking, "Yeah, right, I've probably won some stupid little plastic accessory for a piece of equipment I haven't got!" So I went over and stood in line at customer service. Sure enough, they hand me an honest-to-goodness real iPod. Imagine that.

So I find myself thinking about luck and strange coincidences. What is luck? Is it really random? Or does it result from a series of finite events that may have an infinite variety of combinations? Is it reproducible? I am reminded of a character from Nilo Cruz's play Anna in the Tropics. The man has a gambling problem, and we find through the course of the play that once he won big--really big--and ever since then he has been trying to reproduce the actions of that day in order to win again. He gets up at the same time every day, on the same side of the bed. He puts his shoes on in the same order. And so on. But he still doesn't win.

I don't know if I could reproduce this day if I tried. I don't remember in what order I put my shoes on or what time I left the house. I am wearing my bright apple green hippie shirt. Today is not my son's birthday, but it is the day we are celebrating his birthday, so most of the shopping items were for his party. Minutes before I checked out "The Boy from Ipanema"--not "The Girl from Ipanema" which is the alternate version of the song--was playing on the store's speakers. This is significant because I had just referenced this song in a text message to a friend on Friday--the "Boy" version, not the "Girl" version. What are the odds? I received a phone call from my friend Gina while I was at the store. I used a $10 gift card, which I received at Christmas, and a 10% off card, which I received in the mail this week, when I paid for my purchases. My total came up to $60.06. I was at checkstand 3. Or was it 4? Both the clerk and the bagger were two young female employees I had never seen before. The list just goes on and on. See? Finite series of events; infinite variety of combinations.

There's some irony here, too. I'm planning a trip this summer, and I've really been wanting to get a digital camera. Hmm. Small electronic device about the same size and shape as an iPod. Ask the universe for a digital camera, it gives me an iPod. Go figure. Sometimes I think the universe is terribly lacking in fine tuning.

However, I am not complaining, because an iPod will come in handy. Not only will it make it easier to listen to all my favorite music, but just this week my friend Guy invited me to join his band Shadow Opera. This will help me with practicing the songs I need to learn for the band. I am really excited to be singing again and am really happy to be working with this incredibly talented group of people. I will keep you posted as things develop.

So, yeah, winning an iPod is very cool indeed.

But you know, what I really need is a droid that understands the binary language of moisture vaporators...

What do you do with a blank piece of paper that is lying around?

Do you ever get those email with questions you're supposed to answer for your friends? You know, things like, "What is your middle name?" or "What do you eat for breakfast?" The questions on those lists always seem a bit bland. I don't really care what my friends eat for breakfast. I'm more interested in knowing what they think about when they eat breakfast. (Hmm, maybe I should write my own list...)

Anyway, I think Beat Gloor's list of questions is much more interesting. He's a Swiss writer, by the way, translated from German, and his modus operandi is lists. So when, on that rare occasion, I am at a loss for words, I'm going to pull a question from his list and give it a whirl. And hey, feel free to respond with your own answer. I'm listening.

So, question of the hour: What do you do with a piece of paper that is lying around?

I doodle. I can't help myself. I have to doodle. I draw Saturns and crescent moons and stars. I draw diamonds and pyramids and little squiggly things. I draw daisies and suns. I draw cats and lions and horses. I draw eyes. I draw geometric shapes: spheres and cubes. I draw snails and swans. I draw scrolls. I draw sailboats on water. I draw waves. I draw rockets (I have always been envious of the boys who could draw such realistic airplanes, rockets, and spaceships. They seem to have a natural instinct for how mechanical things look and the pieces fit together or something. My rockets look like a 1940s fantasy). I draw musical notes. I draw the ABCs. I draw mermaids. I draw lyres. I draw tornadoes. I draw shells. I draw feathers. I draw roses.

I have one of those huge paper monthly planning calendars on my desk at work. One of my greatest pleasures is doodling on it. By the end of the month, I have covered nearly every open space of the margins and other spaces in between with doodles. Then I get to turn the page over and start again.