Luck in Microcosm

I've never been able to figure out if I'm lucky or unlucky. The truth is, I don't think I've been handed more than an even dose of each. Take this day, for instance...

I went into work for a few hours. I'm still in training, so it was cake.

Afterwards, I was driving home and had some time on my hands, so instead of passing the Hwy 17 turn off, I took it over the hill and on down to Capitola to enjoy a little sea and sky. And I kept telling myself, this is crazy, you're wasting your time, you have homework to do, you have papers to grade. But this other voice was saying, No, no, it's okay, you need this, it'll be good. So I just... Go.

And you know how when you're looking for a parking place down by the beach, and there are just scads of people and cars everywhere, so when you finally do see a parking space, it's like a mirage, it's like it's not really there. Well, that happened to me. I drove right past it because I just couldn't believe it was true. By the time I turned around and went back, someone else had grabbed it. But that one was a little further up the hill, a little farther off the beaten path. So I thought to myself, in the thinks that I think, you know, I may still get lucky. And I won't miss it this time, I'll be watching for it, and this time I'll believe.

And there it was. Down on the front row, right in front of Zelda's. You couldn't ask for better.

So I dropped some quarters in the meter, checked my clock so I wouldn't be late, and went for a walk. The sun was shining, the gulls were wailing, the breeze was blowing. And I thought to myself, in the thinks that I think, that I'll never want for diamonds as long as I can have the ones right out there, reflected off the sea in a million million bright fragments. What a gorgeous day.

Are you waiting for it? Do you feel that "other shoe about to drop" feeling? That wicked twist of fate feeling? You see, I forgot. I walked back to my car, heedless and unmindful of luck or fate or what-have-you.

And there it was: a ticket on my windshield. Oh, I wasn't late. I'd made sure of that. It was a fix-it ticket for my expired registration tags. How did this happen? I don't even remember getting the notice. It was too too cruel. I didn't even know they could do that, that a cop could just be strolling by and notice your tags and give you a ticket for that. I thought they had to stop you on the highway or something.

So I crumpled, like an old kleenex. That bright shiney feeling? All gone. I know, you have to ask, am I really so sensitive to let a fix-it ticket ruin my day? Yes. Yes, I am. Somewhere in the back of my mind, Sarah was wailing "It's just not fair!" in the middle of the Labyrinth.

As I drove out of town, I noticed that the New Age shop, Avalon Visions, was holding readings. For a brief moment, I toy with the notion of going in. But no. What can they tell me that I haven't already learned from a thousand books, from a thousand days just like this one. Don't I know Me?

Yeah. I know Me.