TMI! TMI!

In class last night we were discussing how our modern culture really discourages us from getting too close to each other. For instance, when we ask "How are you?" this is generally a casual greeting and we're not looking for an in-depth response. This may be more of a Western culture thing, for a Chinese woman in class related how the Chinese take this question quite literally. She said she often hears from other foreigners about how they start to respond honestly to this question and then find that the other person "has a funny look on their face." In China, she went on to say, if you don't want to know, you don't ask the question. One might say simply, "Have you eaten?" instead, or something equally specific and mundane.

The professor called this the "TMI" phenomenon. You know how with email and cell phone text messages all these acronyms have come into general use: TMI stands for "Too Much Information." This is used when faced with an unwanted response to the question "How's it going?" that is perhaps too long or filled with too many intimate details. I send text messages on a regular basis and even I did not know this. But then, I'm one of those weirdos that spells everything out. (I am probably more likely to receive a TMI than send one!)

This whole conversation arose out of our discussion of W.H. Auden's The Unknown Citizen, which thematically underscores this idea of the modern individual being obscured by a series of superficial factoids. What you do and what you buy is not the same thing as who you are and why you do what you do and how you feel about it.

So why is it that in this modern age, with its plethora of communication devices, are we so distinctly uncomfortable when people start to really communicate with us?

The professor gave an example.

Some years ago, he was working with a colleague who began to tell him of an odd experience he had had during his previous employment in Milwaukee. He had been working there several weeks, when one day he went out to his car and found a note. The note read,

"I have been watching you for awhile now. I find you attractive and I'd really like to meet you. Please call me if you would like to make arrangements to meet. However, if you are not gay, please consider this note a compliment."

The professor paused and we all waited for him to finish the story. Then he said, "You know, whenever I tell this story, I always get the same reaction from the women every time. They all want to know, 'What did you say? What did he do?'"

(And this is absolutely true--every woman in class was nodding her head, waiting breathlessly for the answer).

"But," he continued, "right at that moment, I was feeling very uncomfortable. This was a TMI moment. This was Too Much Information. I did not want to know."

So what did you say? we asked.

He said, "Huh. Milwaukee, eh?"