Splitting Hairs

I like to say my hair has a split personality; that's why I can't get rid of these split ends! [snicker!]

First, the "Hag."
When I wash my hair, it goes all curly crazy--not exactly Shirley Temple ringlets, that would be too easy--oh no, my hair acts like each individual strand has a mind of its own and wants to pick its own direction. Wearing it long, at least I have gravity on my side: eventually, it has to tend toward a downward slope. When I've cut it short, there was just no controlling it. Curling irons, blow dryers, endless hair products: all useless. It's all I can do to get a comb through my hair without breaking it. It's like carding wool, it really is. Eventually, after a couple of days, it starts to calm down and then it becomes...

The "Princess"
This is when my hair becomes almost manageable. I can braid it or style it as I please and it behaves itself, for the most part. I can manage to get a brush through it without too much difficulty.

Brushing, of course, creates its own problem. I like to joke that I have more hair in my brush than most people have on their heads. [weg] Brushing also tends to loose all kinds of strays: wild tangles run rampant through my house, capable of lifting objects and possibly small children. It's a sad commentary that when company's coming I must actually consider combing the rug. I shed worse than any family pet I've ever had. In fact, a friend of mine once told me that while sitting in a business meeting, he looked down and found a stray hair on his shirtsleeve. He started pulling on it and it just kept going and going... So let that serve as a warning: Check your clothing! There may be interlopers lurking...

I have to take a moment to sing the praises of modern beauty products. When I was a girl, I wanted long, straight, red-brown hair-- like Princess Leia! I swear to God!-- and now, with the miracle of modern science, I can! Every 8-10 weeks, I go into a salon and this brilliant woman not only colors my hair the exact shade I like [I'm "artificially going natural" a la Carrie Fisher], she spends hours flat ironing it so it's absolutely perfect. It is complete excessive indulgence on my part, I know, but I love it. My hair feels like silk for days.

Then I have to wash my hair, and the Hag is back. But you know, she's okay, too. I am willing to embrace my Hag/Princess duality.