Do you feel lucky, 40? Well, do ya?

So my girlfriend asks me, as girlfriends do, "What does 40 look like to you?" Basically, what are my goals, dreams, wishes, desires, etc.

Aside from the obvious "new year's resolutions" type stuff which are *always* there ( I want to eat better, exercise consistently, lose weight, yadda yadda yadda), there are a few things I've had sort of tugging at the hem of my consciousness as I stand here "with my years poised like reckonings in the balance."

I want to travel. -- Check. I think I've got that one covered.

I want to sing. -- Check. I'm back with a band again, and it feels fantastic.

I want to earn my Masters. -- This will take a couple more years, but I'm working on it. Eventually, I would like to earn a PhD. Maybe. It's very intimidating. Maybe I'll save that one for 50.

I want to get published. -- Short story, novel, or scholarly article, I don't care, but I want to see my name in print, dammit!

I want to learn the art of belly dancing. -- I've got the belly, I just need to learn what to do with it. [snicker!]

I want to wear sexier clothes. -- All my life I've covered myself up in jeans & t-shirts and old maid's dresses. It's time to break out. I'm working on it. I've got a couple of items in my closet that make me "feel like a woman" as the saying goes. But it's hard to break old habits. I'm still very conscious of the arbitrary line between Sexy and Just Plain Stupid. Hey, I'm a Classy Gal. I don't do Stupid. (Oh, gawd, I hope not!)

I want to be the Professional. -- I have played the role of the "assistant" in so many ways, I'm growing exceedingly weary of it; it's time for me to be in charge. Of Something. I'll let you know when I've figured it out.

I want to find out where my hearth-home is. -- I don't want to own a home necessarily, but I don't want to live in a cruddy little apartment anymore. I may have to lie low for a few years and be patient since I have some other more important goals to meet first. But I'm looking. Maybe it will be in Iceland, or England, or China. Or maybe right here in California, I don't know. But I know it's not in Fremont anymore, and it sure as hell not in Morgan Hill. (Nothing against MH. It's a nice place. I just don't want to live there for the rest of my life.)

I want to be Smarter with Money. -- That whole Planning for Your Financial Future still intimidates me. I've got to get over that.

I want to learn how to shoot a gun. -- This one surprised me. I'm not a violent person. I don't think I would ever want to own a weapon, much less keep one in my home. But I've had a growing fascination with the idea of finding out what it's like to hold one in my hand and pull the trigger. Maybe I'll do it once and find out I'm really really bad. Or maybe I'll do it and find out I'm Bad Ass. Huh. We'll see.



9 Days til Lift-Off